Fear is my teacher

My Insta-sentence-of-today is actually a real-life-in-the-moment thought I had made for myself to get through a scary moment. Did you know that when you change your thoughts you also change your physical reaction? Today I needed this trick, because  I’m starting a new very Big Project, something that might take up a lot of my time and energy for the coming five years. 
Somewhere today while I was working on my project, a little fear started to grow inside. Slightly noticable, it made my bodya bit tense and started to distract my mind. Yes, those fears know how to creep up on you.
Initially I planned to go to China for a year, sort of to take time to take a deep breath before to take this jump into the unknown. But my trip to China could not go through, so I ended up at the same place I started a year ago. In The Hague, but with a lot of less bagage and much more time on my hands.
Now I’m using this time to prepare for THE BIG PROJECT. And hop there it is, the little uninvited company for life, fear. ‘Hello everyone I’m gonna help you learn some extra lessons of life while you embarge on this new chapter of your life.’
Yes, fears are my friends and teachers. They always prove to show me the biggest pots of gold. So also today, instead of going to the next step of my Big Project. I sat down with my fear and we had a good talk. Fear told me that he was invited by some thoughts I had made. Thoughts about events from long ago.
Since my mind makes up all sorts of thoughts, it took some digging, but we found them. Ancient ideas about the world from when I was a child. Ideas that are not valid anymore. So the thoughts and the fear had a good look into eachother’s eyes, shook hands and decided with a little guidance from me, to disapear in oblivion. Farewell.
As for me I’m holding this thought for a while: Fears are my teachers! You never know what new thought might pop up to disturb the peace. 

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