Sometimes my life is like that, I can't find words for it for a while. As if the lamp in the room has been turned. The light shines on completely different things and the familiar things disappear into the shadows.
I give the word to Alan Watts, who knows what I mean:
"The animal, in order to be happy, is content with the moment. But man is anything but satisfied with that.
Man does nothing but chase pleasant memories and expectations. Especially the latter. If he has them, he can handle the most adverse circumstances.
Without that, he feels dead unhappy, even if there is still so much to enjoy physically. (Yes,... Alan...) After all, the future is completely unimportant and has no sense at all if it does not become present sooner or later.
Therefore, making plans for a future that does not become a present is just as incongruous as making plans for a future that, when it finally becomes real, finds me 'absent-mindedly' looking over her shoulder instead of straight into her face."